Life Updates and Springtime Thoughts
Hello friends!
Oh it’s been a minute since I last posted on the blog. Honestly time has been flying and the past month or so have had so many unexpected circumstances and honestly so many low lows. My creativity has been at a low due to all this, and for awhile I had no desire to share anything whatsoever. I do hope to be a bright spot and an encouragement in this space, but there’s also a balance of being authentic with where you are and sharing the whole journey, not just the highlights. Recently the spark of wanting to create more has been returning bit by bit, and I just wanted to write a little ramble about where I’ve been recently and how things have been going.
I’ve often caught myself looking back at the pictures and videos from my Europe trip and every time I feel such a combination of incredible happiness with all the memories flooding back, and also an overwhelming longing to go back. There is nowhere I’ve felt more at home or more myself than when I’m in Europe and the ache of missing it runs deep.
I had an adventure of a lifetime and it’s hard to believe that it’s already been months since my feet hit the American soil again. Rarely does anyone talk about post trip depression but it was real for me, and sent me for a spiral for at least a couple months after my trip. I’ve since realized my life was in complete transition before the trip, so I think the culmination of it all and then being back in my childhood home with tons of silence and space really caught up with me. I felt extremely lost, extremely confused, and so directionless.
Things have settled into more of a normal rhythm now. I’ve found a part time job working at a natural food store, which has broken up the monotony and given me some more purpose in my days. There is a nice simplicity of life at home, but yet the struggle of seeing the days pass and nothing truly change has been hard, especially as I have sought out opportunities elsewhere, but closed doors have been plentiful and there’s been a deep feeling in my gut that I know what is meant for me just isn’t quite here yet. Things in the past couple weeks have confirmed that I am exactly where I’m needed at the moment, but I suppose two things can be true at once; at the same time I have that deep knowing, the ache in my heart for new experiences and for being abroad is growing stronger each day. I know they say your 20’s are when you have space to just figure things out, and so I am trying to let go of the timelines and the expectations I have and embrace the process I’m currently in. Easier said than done, am I right?
It’s been years since I’ve been home for this long, and I am so grateful to have this time with family. To be with my mom on Mother’s Day, to go see my grandparents more often, and also see my cousin's baby has been a gift.
Life is such a whirlwind and I’ve had to embrace it. It’s so easy to get caught up in the “what if'‘s” but I am trying to settle into what currently is. And I’ve found there’s a lot to be grateful for and a lot to look forward to, even if it isn’t quite clear what that could be.
Here’s to leaning into what is and letting the simple things create wonder while we wait.
Until next time,
Elizabeth
